Right now i'm here battling the skeevy trich monster crawling under my skin like a skeevy insect, jabbering in my ear, tugging at my sleeve, struggling to engage me in a debate i don't want to have . . .

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trich: come onnn, bodhi, play with me. you can't turn your back like this. i know you. it's me, sweetie, we grew up together.

me: get lost, loser.

 trich: who kept you company when you were alone? who entertained you for endless hours? who was the secret friend you hid from your other friends, huh, bodhi?

 me: you're pathetic.

 trich: i'm hurting bodhi, pleeease. it's been too long, you know what i need. just a few little quick plucks and i won't bother you for the rest of the day. just a little from the sides, or the back on top - any of your favorite spots. it's been too long and i have so many goodies for you, whaddaya say?

 me: i'd rather drill holes in my kneecaps.

 trich: bodhi, bodhi, bodhi, you're changing. i hardly recognize you anymore. you disappoint me.

 me: you'll get over it.

 trich: it's this BB, isn't it? it's "amanda's angels," right? you think you're tough now because you found out about the others, don't you?

 me: that's right. and i knew there were others, i just never met them.

  trich: you think you all can gang up on me and out-smart me?

 me: yes, i do. face it, you're toast.

 trich: don't you realize i'm not going away? and what's that stat  steph quoted, 1 in 200? what does that tell you, bodhi? look at all these people living as you do. you think you're better than them? stronger? and there are new ones every day. and so young and sweet. why, there's little shannon--

 me: DAMMIT YOU LEAVE THAT CHILD ALONE

 trich: oooh. temper, temper.

(silence.)

 trich: bodhi, you're breaking my heart,  

me: that's not all i'm breaking, pal.

 trich: you NEED me, bodhi. i'm part of you. i was always part of you. i always will be.

 me: yeah? you're part of me like a wart on my finger. you're being removed.

 trich: ah, but i'll grow back.

 me: over my dead body.

 trich: now don't get so dramatic. this isn't a matter of life and death, you know. what's a few lashes between friends? there's so much suffering in the world, isn't there? why do you make such a big deal about some silly hair? you have so many blessings in your life.  now you want this. can't you just be thankful? well let me enlighten you, miss millennium. you can't have everything, so give it up. and you can't "just say no" because, get it straight, i'm in charge here. and i'm not about to spoil you, either. i serve a purpose here. oh yes, what do you think i've been doing all these years? it's so obvious. i help relieve you of your guilt about having an easy, comfortable life, while other people are suffering. you're unworthy. you're inadequate. and you know it. that's why you mutilate yourself.

me: that is so warped.

trich: the truth is you pull out your eyelashes because you don't want anyone to look into your eyes.

me: that is really so WARPED. what kind of pulp dime store analysis is this? you're desperate. you'll say anything. you make me LAUGH. you make me SICK. you slimy relentless parasitic manipulative dirtball  i HATE YOU.

 trich: now, now, bodhi. well. that's not very ladylike, is it? ok, ok, leave all that aside for now. you know i'm not trying to hurt you. i only want to help. now come on, sweetie, give me your hand. two fingers, bodhi, that's all i ask. just reach over here for a second, you know you want to. you know how much you want to. come on. come on, GIVE IT TO ME.

me: ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

(silence)

trich: you used to be so smart.

me: uh huh. i'm smarter now.

trich: why are you fighting me? you know this is a life long condition, don't you. you know it's chronic.

me: so? what's your point? 

trich: you KNOW all that, right? 

me: yes. i know. 

trich: well then. so. like, can i come and visit some time? 

me: no! i can't allow that. i'm sorry. 

trich: sure, sure you can, baby. for old time's sake? 

me: it doesn't work like that. don't you GET it? 

trich: bodhi. you'll miss me. remember in the bathroom, the hours we spent with that vanity mirror? grooming, smoothing, you let me have evrything i wanted, then. you always did. while you were reading, lying in bed, on the train, watching tv, driving, thinking, twirling the wiry black ones between your fingers, carefully selecting the ones ready to go. our rituals, how calm it made you, how relieved you felt to feed me, feed the hunger, quiet the endless yearning . . . 

me: it's over my friend. 

trich: never bodhi. never never never. 

me: leave me ALONE. i said i'm OVER it. what part of this don't you understand? it's simple: go away. i really do not want to fight.  

trich: ah, then don't fight. shhh. come here, baby. who loves you bodhi?

 me: --don't. 

trich: I love you, bodhi. 

me: oh MANNNNN. that's it -- i'm outta here. i'm going for a drive. 

trich: cool! i'm coming with you. 

me: NO!! 

trich: then - then i'll wait here. i'll be here when you get back - 

me: NO YOU WON'T!!

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