Hannah's Story

This message was preached at church on Sunday - and 18 months  after discovering that I wasn't crazy, but had a disorder, I got an answer to a question that I did not even realise I was still asking (very deep in my heart).  The  'why me' - question (do you know it?  I'm sure you do!)

In Samuel 3:1 it says:  In those days, the word of the Lord was rare; there were not many visions.

Hofni and Phineas, the sons of Eli, wasn't doing their 'job'.  They were priest, but were not following God.  So God had a real problem - he wanted to speak to Israel, but didn't have anybody who would listen and carry out His  word to His people.

At the same time Hannah was being ridiculed mercilessly by the second wife of Elkana, her husband.  The second wife had children from Elkana, but she, the first wife, couldn't conceive a child.  After many years of ridicule, Hannah was at the end of the rope.  She went to God and really cried out to Him in desperation.  She promised Him that if He gave her a son, she would give him back to God for all the days of his life. 

God granted her wish, and Samuel was born, a man that lived for God - was available to God, and could be used by God to proclaim His word and His works. 

What would have happened if Hannah wasn't in such pain - if she didn't suffer so much that she was willing to offer her son to be available to GOD's needs?  She would have been happy and content, and she would  have had children. She would have been content with her life. Nothing more.  She would never have promised Samuel to God.  What would have happened to God's problem then?   He still wouldn't have had anybody that could carry out His word!! 

This made me realise that God needed   M E  !  He needed Amanda to do a work for Him!   I didn't just suffer for no reason at all - He needed me!  It was a fantastic, heart-warming and wonderful message for me.  God could use me!  I who always felt that I didn't mean anything, I wasn't worth anything, I was a nothing, not even accepted in society because I wasn't 'normal' - according to their standards.  But God needed me to be exactly as I was - or else He couldn't use me.   He needed me to be totally broken down, so that I could be of use to Him.  As with Hannah, what would have happened if I was just a normal (duh!) person without trich?   I would not have been able to be an instrument in His hand!

I thank God for His mercy and kindness in deciding that I could be an instrument for Him.  May I always be willing and able to be available to Him.  May he bless every word on this site and use it to touch people.  All the glory and honour belong to Him.