Why do male trichsters have a problem with shaving?

I wrote an e-mail to a male trich friend, asking why he didn't just shave his head - wouldn't that be an 'easy solution' -  a temporary reprieve from the pulling?  I told him that I knew that I was at the risk of sounding like a non-trichster and he gave me a reply that opened my eyes quite a lot.  He then gave me permission to print it here in the hope to help others understand what males go through.

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Hi Amanda,

Okay let me put an end to the myth that male trichsters can 'get away' with
having their heads shaved :

Regarding :
<("Hey, may I sound like a non=trichster here for a moment? You guys
actually are lucky that you CAN shave your heads, still look good, and look
like you chose it - just to be in fashion. This way you can get a break from
trich - as long as you keep your head shaven.

I'm afraid the option of having a socially-acceptable bald head isn't
available to me at all. In my experience with a shaved head, I not only
hate the feeling of it, the high maintenance of having to shave it fully
every four days just to hide the obvious patches, the irritation and itching
that shaving sensitive skin affords (not to mention that itching is a
self-perpetuating trich trigger), the image in Toronto that a white male
with a shaved head in his twenties imposes on the public ("white
supremacist"), the idea of having to find clothes which match the wearing of
a bandana or baseball hat (I'm not into sports), the fact that some places
have refused my entry because they don't allow people who wear bandanas, the
number of people who glare at me because they think I'm a biker/tough
guy/skin-head/ or some racist cult member, being mistaken as a psychotic and
having to disprove it to the many people who believe hurtful rumors about
me, people constantly noticing that my bald head has inconsistencies because
of the 'hot-spot' areas, people playing pranks like pulling off my headwear
when I've missed a shave, or simply to expose my head for others to view so
to prove the rumors about "me being psychotic", people wanting to touch my
head and finding those smooth areas - then loudly making comments about it,
........the fact is I want and like my hair when it grows - so nothing can
ever make me feel good about not having it.

"Does it bother you a lot?" (very much)

"Why not just tell everyone (and yourself) that you like to shave your head
(like thousands of others do for fashion sake) and give yourself a break -
give yourself 6 months or a year and take a break from trich."
(Because I hate lying - even 'little white lies' - and I am not very good at
making up stories or hiding my true feelings at all. I have had my head
shaved for over 15 months now and it gets to be very tiring after a while.)

(I appreciate you understanding this - but trich is different for men than
for women in one major way.....if a man shows any weakness in public, he
will suffer socially, whereas women often get sympathy when showing weakness
because society accepts most women as 'weak' and wish to protect them. Most
people who keep their hair throughout life are usually women - if they don't
have their hair, it must be because they "have cancer" or "had an
operation" - men and women both assume that when men have hair loss - it's
natural. In my case, everybody knows it's self-inflicted and I will not lie
about it.)

"Would shaving be an option for you - as something to give you a break while
you concentrate on other things that is more important? Just a thought."
(Tried that many times in my life. The truth is, when I was genuinely happy,
my hair grew in fully and I 'shone' outwardly - ALL aspects of my life then
improved - very different to what I am presently experiencing. This is why
happiness is necessary to me because it affects all aspects of my life.)

"We trichsters are so much more sensitive than others... we see
things that no one else sees (true) - we belive others all know abt our bald
spots (in my case they actually do) - in the mean time other people don't
even care enough to notice, in many cases."

Hmm... well, maybe I should move elsewhere because people certainly notice
every little imperfection about me here - that's also why there's no use in
trying to lie to them, they are all good observers and they love to gossip.

Sorry Amanda but I really have been through it all when it comes to trich.  But thank you for trying.