My fear of the newspaper article in our new town

We moved to a new town, after 34 years in the town I grew up in. (I'm giving away my age here.. which is nothing compared to all else I've shared abt my life here on this site!). In Welkom, I had found so much freedom by putting my story in newspapers (read the story).  So in Welkom, I had gotton used to talking and writing abt trich - I gues everyone who knew me, had known abt my trich there.   Coming to Klerksdorp, I knew I had to start again, telling people abt trich, trying to help them.  What I didn't consider, was that I would be setting myself up again for fear of rejection etc.  Here is a letter I wrote to some of my friends, about what I was going through. Well, praise God, all went well, regardless of all my tears and just hearing the relief in people's voice when they phone me, makes it all worth while doing it.

Here is the letter.
I've got a prayer request please. I'm doing a newspaper
interview on Tuesday (with a pic). I've been glad abt it - know that
will probably open doors and also, because of the pic, tell my story
to some people I've gotten to know (at church, homecell, the woman's
group etc). This has been a positive point for me - making it
unneccesary to tell the long, sad story to everyone - like
breaking the ice for me. Well, that was before I went to church
today and it became a reality that I will be facing all those people
and that they will know everything abt me. Looking at it from the
TLC perspective and from the perspective of helping others, I'm happy
with doing it. BUT thinking of it from my own perspective, of people
knowing abt me, abt what I do etc. etc... sigh.. that is becoming
hard and I'm fearful of their reaction, their possible rejection
etc. I know, I know.. it will most probably not happen. I know all
those things.. I've seen what had happened in Welkom when I did it
the first time. I know I'll probably get freedom once it is out
in the open, I know it will open doors, i know I'll probably get
love, sympathy and acceptance. I know all those things. I know also
that this is in God's will.. it is doing the job He gave me. I know
it will glorify Him in the end and I won't be sorry. I'm not even
contemplating at all to cancel it. Not at all, I know it has to be
done, and I still want to do it. But I'm still scared. I sat
crying in church today. It is just so hard. But I know God's timing
is perfect, I know that if this article came in the newspaper before
we really made friends, really joined a homecell, it wouldn't have
mattered. So I know this is part of something God wants to work in
my life too.. but phew.. it is hard right now.

Please pray for me...... just not to be scared anymore.

Thanks my friends