Lori's Story

My name is Lori Strickland and this is the story of my experience, strength
and hope in dealing with compulsive hair pulling (Trichotillomania). As I
write this I am still amazed that one day back in 1990 when I stood in my
bathroom glancing in the mirror at my hair, that plucking out just one hair,
that seemed so out of place, would lead me into 10 years of slavery. One of
desperately seeking and pulling out unwanted hairs from my scalp. It is my
personal belief that my Trichotillomania lay dormant in my body long before
it surfaced. With me it started with an obsession of the hair on the top
of my head and progressed all the way to the hair on top of my toes.

Many years before I started pulling hairs from my scalp I spent an enormous
amount of money and countless hours trying to change the appearance and
texture of all my body hairs. I went to beauty salons to have my haircut,
permed, relaxed, colored, conditioned and styled. Only to walk away
disappointed and frustrated because I never felt like my hair was never good
enough or acceptable. I constantly compared my hair to other people's hair.
Not once did I ever feel like my hair measured up. Then there were all
those painful experiences that I put myself through with electrolysis,
waxing, tweezing, and bleaching to hide and rid myself of all of those other
unwanted body hairs that I found so repulsing.

Many, many times I asked myself "Where did this obsession and repulsion with
my body hair come from"? I can only tell you that it all started when my
ex-husband started belittling me about my appearance. He would say such
cruel and abusive remarks about my body and especially about my hair. I don'
t blame him for my insecurities, as it is my belief that I was already
insecure when we met. Then because of my own insecurities, I took on his
negative views of me as truth! I am in no way excusing his abuse. Violating
another human being with abusive talk or physical abuse is wrong! However,
I believe it was my choice to accept his negative views of me, because I
chose to get my value and worth from man and not God!

In 1990 I married my present husband Bill. It was in our first home in the
bathroom of the apartment that I mentioned earlier in this testimony that my
Trichotillomania begin. My husband is a wonderful Christian man who has
spent 10 years teaching, inspiring and encouraging me how to find my true
worth from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I accepted Christ in my early
youth; however I really didn't understand that accepting Christ as my Lord
and Savior also meant putting him in total control of every area of my life.
I believe with all my heart that God has also used my husband who has the
most awesome faith in God to teach me just how loving and powerful God
really is. My husband knew from the very beginning of our courtship about
my obsession with my hair, but he had no idea that I became a compulsive
hair puller in our first year of marriage. In fact no one knew about my deep
dark painful secret except for God of course and in some sort of deluded way
I thought I was hiding it from him too.


February of 2001 is when I finally pulled out enough hair out of my scalp
that it become noticeable. Up until then I covered up really well all the
hair loss from my scalp pulling and was fortunate that I had really thick
hair to compensate for the hair lost from my pulling. I can't begin to tell
you how many years of joy and happiness that my compulsive hair pulling has
robbed from me. Even though God had grown me by leaps and bounds in other
areas of my life, over the last 10 years I believe that the bondage of hair
pulling has kept me from truly knowing the peace and joy that God wanted me
to have.

I can't tell you what finally brought me to hit my bottom in February of
2001 with my hair pulling, but I have to be honest I am glad it finally
happened. I was sick and tired of living in misery and isolation because of
my compulsive hair pulling. Many times I would spend hours pulling out my
hair one by one until I literally felt physically sick and emotionally
drained. There is so much shame, despair and isolation when you are held
bondage to hair pulling. I finally got so miserable and desperate that I
cried out to my Lord and begged him to help me to stop pulling out my hair
and to remove the obsession I had with my hair. I knew that the Lord
answers prayers because I have seen miracle after miracle happen in my life
and other people's lives because of answered prayer. However for some reason
I was not sure that God would work a miracle in my life this time and
deliver me from the bondage of hair pulling. Well I was wrong! God heard
my cry for help and once again he worked another miracle in my life.

The next day after I prayed for help I had this thought come to mind to go
surf the net for "hair pulling" and much to my surprise I landed on a site
that said "Trichotillomania" (compulsive hair pulling). I couldn't believe
my eyes there was a name for what I did! I eagerly got into the site and
started reading about this Trichotillomania. That one site led me to
another site and another site until I came across a site called Amanda's
Trich Site. Amanda's site was a Christian based site for sufferers of
compulsive hair pulling. Amanda's site was full of information about
Trichotillomania and offered information about support groups, email
addresses and testimonies of people who have been delivered from compulsive
hair pulling through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I then found Amanda's email address and emailed her and admitted to her that
I was a compulsive hair puller. The next day I received an email back from
Amanda who lives in South Africa. The email was so encouraging. She gave
me hope that I too could be delivered from this hair pulling through Jesus
Christ. Amanda also shared with me some handy tips on how to break this
habit. I also emailed a lady named Camilla who had suffered from compulsive
hair pulling for 25 years and had also been delivered from the stronghold of
hair pulling through Jesus Christ. The very next day I received a wonderful
and inspiring email from Camilla. It was a very loving email full of
encouragement and scriptures to refer to that would help me to stop my hair
pulling.


I learned from Camilla that it is estimated that 2% of the population, 1
out of 50 people, suffers from a form of hair pulling. Even though I was
happy that I wasn't alone in my suffering with compulsive hair pulling I was
saddened that so many others suffered with this thing that they call
Trichotillomania. When I read Camilla's email I just felt the presence
of the Lord and a peace that could only come from him. At that very moment
I knew in my heart that I was going to be set free from the bondage of hair
pulling. I literally felt all the shame, despair and hopelessness that I
carried with my compulsive hair pulling leave my body. I no longer felt like
I was weird because I pulled out my hair.

After feeling a little more comfortable with my compulsive hair pulling I
bravely, but anxiously ask my husband if I could talk to him about
something. As tears rolled down my cheeks I shared with him that I have
been a compulsive hair puller over the last 11 years. I pulled down my hair
that was pulled up in a clip and showed him my bald spot from one of my
favorite spots to pull. Much to my surprise he reacted very lovingly to me
and has since then been really supportive and does whatever he can to help
me stay pull free.

As the weeks went by I continued to stayed in touch with Camilla by email
and she shared with me that she had started a Trichotillomania Christian
Ministry in her hometown and serves the Lord by offering Christ centered
support groups and Bible studies as well as individual counseling for
adults, children and the parents who suffer from compulsive hair pulling. I
told Camilla that I was very interested in her ministry and asked her to
send me some information. I was so hungry to know more about this
Trichotillomania and knew that I was going to need daily support and tools
to help me to remain pull free. I have had some personal experiences dealing
with addictions and obsessions in my life and many of the lives of my family
members, so I knew that having a daily support system is very important in
the recovery from addictions and obsessions.

Within a week I received the information about her ministry and a copy of
her testimony. When I read her testimony about how the Lord delivered her
from 25 years of compulsive hair pulling I was once again encouraged that I
too would be delivered from my compulsive hair pulling. As I write this
testimony I am still pull free after 11 years of compulsive hair pulling. I
contribute my success to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The Lord has
continued to bless me by putting wonderful and supportive friends (fellow
hair pullers and non hair pullers) in my life to encourage and pray for me
in the area of my hair pulling.

One week after receiving the information from Camilla about her Christian
Trich Ministry I thought to myself that all of this information that Camilla
sent me was quite helpful, but I needed more. I needed a friend in my
hometown that had Trichotillomania so that we could support each other.


I continued to pray this prayer everyday and the one day soon the Lord laid
it upon my heart that he wanted me to start a local Christian Trich Ministry
(support group). My first reaction was "oh my", this couldn't be what I am
hearing. "Me" I don't know any thing about starting a Christian Trich
ministry (support group) I just wanted one friend who had Trichotillomania,
but not go public that I was a compulsive hair puller to find a friend.
Then God made it very clear to me and said if you want to meet someone and
make a friend who has Trichotillomania then I want you to start a Christian
Trich Ministry and share with others that I have delivered you from your
compulsive hair pulling. In my heart I did want to share with others that
they to could be set free from the stronghold of pulling but I felt so
inadequate in my skills to organize and lead a Christian Trich Ministry
(support group) and not to mention scared to death of meeting a lot of new
people. Then I remembered hearing a preacher on the radio talk about when
God calls people to minister for him he doesn't call the equipped he equips
the called. Then I had a peace that God would provide and give me whatever I
needed to accomplish his plan of starting the first Christian Trich Ministry
in the state of Texas.

After I got over my shock of what God had called me to do I emailed Camilla
and told her about it and how scared I was. I also ask her how I should go
about starting a Christian Trich ministry. She shared with me that she felt
the same way that I did when God called her to start her Christian Trich
Ministry in Georgia. Camilla reassured me that God would help me and would
provide me with whatever I needed to start this ministry. Camilla suggested
that I read the book "The Prayer of Jabez". She explained that the book
would help me understand why God had called me to start the Christian Trich
ministry and it would help me in the area of being shy, which I am. To be
honest I never knew that there was a character in the Bible named Jabez. I
asked my husband about this Jabez character and about this prayer that he
prayed. My husband was also not familiar with the "Prayer of Jabez"

A day or so passed by after I got the email from Camilla that suggested that
I get the book "The prayer of Jabez". On this day I was praying and having
doubts about starting this Christian Trich Ministry, because I just didn't
think that I had what it took to start a ministry. I was afraid that maybe I
had not discerned my prayer correctly. The truth be known I was hoping that
I discerned my prayer wrong, so I prayed and told God Okay God if you really
want me to start this ministry please give me a supernatural affirmation
that this is what you want me to do. Also if was His will, I asked him to
provide the tools that I needed to get it started. Two days after my
prayer, my husband came home from work and handed me the mail and a book. It
was the book that Camilla suggested that I read. "The prayer of Jabez". I
told my husband how nice it was of him to go out and buy me the book. Much
to my surprise he said, "I didn't buy you this book a unknown male client of
the company I work for left it on my desk You said you wanted to read it so
I brought it home to you."


"Wow", I said loudly to my husband. Is this just not to weird? Camilla
suggested I read the book The Prayer of Jabez and I asked God to show me a
supernatural sign that he wants me to do this ministry and to supply me with
the tools and for some unknown reason an unknown man walks into your office
and lays the book "The Prayer of Jabez" on your desk. I told my husband I
knew that this was the supernatural affirmation that God wanted me to start
the Christian Trich ministry and he supplied the book that Camilla suggested
that I read so that I would understand why God had called me to start a
ministry. I read the book and she was right it did help me understand and
it encouraged my heart to know that God would be my helper and that he would
provide me territory for ministry and anything else that I needed to make it
happen.

Lori