My mommy pulls her hair

(giggle)

The night before the article in our local newspaper came out, Louis explained to the kids why I was going to be in the newspaper.  We were worried that they would be made fun of if people saw me in the newspapers.  We felt that they needed to know the truth so that they wouldn't be put in an akward position.  So Louis told them (on my request) and we discussed it afterwards.   They knew all along that I couldn't eat sugar and a few other things and they were actually very cute - they watched me like hawks.  I was never allowed to eat sweets!   Sometimes I would joke with them and ask them to give me a bite of their chocolates, and then they were always very adamant that I wasn't allowed any.

So Louis told them that I had this illness where my head always itches, and then I want to scratch my hair.  But because one cannot scratch your hair, I want to pull it out.   They giggled, but he explained futher how difficult it was for me etc.   Manie suggested that I cut my hair No 1 (almost like shaving) - but Louis explained that it wouldn't help, because my 'hair' would still itch.

Previously I never spoke about my problem in front of them, but after we explained it to them, they have been more involved and heard much more of what I've been saying.  Wow, and now I'm sitting with my kids 'mocking' me.  No, they're not really mocking me, but they make comments every now and then.  One night my head itched, and I scratched it.  Izak almost screamed at me:  Mommy, don't pull your hair!  It was difficult.  I had the same feeling that you get when your mother slaps your hands etc.  I was angry at him.... but I understood that he meant well.   It was difficult though, I felt like I wanted to say:  Shut up!  Don't tell me what to do!

But as I said, I know that he means well. He is talking about it every now and then, and it definitely isn't  enjoyable.  I have realised something though.   Maybe the Lord is giving me chance to experience some 'good-hearted' mocking.... in a safe enviroment where I know I'm being loved.  Maybe this way it will strengthen me to be able to handle real mocking one day - especially with me coming out into the open now.

Anyway, so the other day Izak decided to draw a picture of his mommy pulling her hair (sigh).  He has never seen me pull, but when I saw the drawing, I realized that he copied it from the banner on my site.  He was very adamant that I should scan the picture in and put it on the site.

So this is for you, Izak!