Geoff's story

From: Geoff H Dean Geoff.Dean@tassie.net.au 
Hello to all. I am a 49 year old male from The Land Down Under. My
struggle with Trich has been long, and, in the end, successful. I write in
response to encouraging and hopeful remarks by fellow trichsters, and I
thank them. I dedicate this to mothers who are searching for ways to help
their children.

ONSET: My Trich started at age 10 and can be traced to a single incident.
I was making fishing sinkers and poured molten lead into a wet wooden
mould. This molten lead exploded and splashed in my
face, and a drop landed on my forehead, at the hairline. A scab formed
which constantly drew my fingers to stroke it; and the behaviour never
stopped. ALAS! ALAS! Since then my longest pull-free period has been
about 3 months.

PULL ZONES: scalp; rear of head; temples; beard above chin line; ears;
private parts; rear of fingers between first & second knuckle. Some areas
are completely free: eye lashes; nostrils. Almost free areas: moustache;
back; under arms; arms; trunk; legs; neck; beard below chin line. I have
not used wigs, don't eat hair, and rarely examine it, or play with it.

ISOLATION: It was a lonely experience, and it was 30 years before I
learned that there was such a thing as "Tricotillomania", in a Scientific
American article (March 1989), by Judith Rapoport, thank you Judith. I
have no specific knowledge of Trich affected adults living within an hour's
flying time of my city; although no doubt there are many.

MARRIED STATE: My wife and I have been married for 27 years, and have 3
daughters. None of them have active Trich, although all have a habit of
playing with their hair with Trich-like gestures; and I believe have a
predisposition to Trich.

I told my wife before we were married, and she has been a great supporter.
We both find it helpful, and a relief, to know that there are others with
the same affliction, and to have a starting point for further enquiry.

FOODS: I don't know of associations with particular foods, except for
instant coffee; and I now drink decaf. But I have never been either astute
or disciplined in analyzing associations of Trich with food.
(Aussies might call me a Thick Brick).

DRUGS: I have not taken Trich specific drug treatments, although I did
have several years of a drug prescribed for stress. But it wasn't
particularly helpful for Trich. The two doctors with whom I have
discussed the subject I would describe as polite but unhelpful.

DIARY: Have never used one. Seems like a great idea.

PETS: Have always had a cat. Have had a dog from age 0 - 17 years, and 45
to present. The more recent acquisition of a dog has had a beneficial
effect (pets as therapy). Otherwise I have no known
associations.


RELATED CONDITIONS:

- Biting of finger nails and associated skin: has always troubled me, but
as an adult it is minor; but I was there and I've got the T-shirt!

- Gambling: In my late teens I decided that I was an impulsive and
potentially compulsive gambler. I resolved not to gamble at all and have
stuck by this.

- Drinking alcohol: This seemed a potential problem and, while I often
have a drink, I am vigilant to my personal limits.

- Smoking: I smoked from age 17 to age 37. I succeeded in giving up, after
perhaps 20 attempts, and haven't had one since.

- Jaw clicking: this was persistent and troublesome in my early teens, but
not since.

- Skin allergies: Suddenly, about 10 years ago, I started getting
spontaneous bleeding from multiple fingers, and palms near the base of the
fingers. I control this completely by wearing vinyl gloves when
using soap; eating normal healthy food; managing my stress level; and
getting regular sleep.

PATTERN OF TRICH BEHAVIOUR: Constant feeling and curling of hair with and
between my fingers (with or without pulling). This is enormously
satisfying, even when not accompanied by pulling. I use all fingers, but
mostly my thumb and fingers 1 to 3 on my right hand in highly ritualized
stroking and curling movements.

Sometimes playing with my hair or pulling was occasional through the day;
and sometimes in a 'trance-like' state, compulsive and seemingly endless.
In such extreme cases I found it impossible to function
normally, and all my energy was consumed in trying to stop or distract
myself from my Trich attack.

Mostly I pulled one hair at a time, commonly several, and occasionally up
to 10 at a time. Daily totals probably averaged 10-20, for weeks or months
on end; bad days, 20 to 100; and severe days (rare) even worse, 100 to 200.
I pulled from all over my scalp, moving from spot to spot to minimize the
impact on my appearance.

CONS OF TRICH: damage to appearance; fear of discovery; affected my self
confidence and ability to handle stress, and hence damaged my career;
degrading and painful; and a waste of time and energy on a self
destructive habit.

PROS OF TRICH: Trich can be soothing, comforting, and mildly euphoric;
save on haircuts; walking in the rain; develops humility, tolerance, and
compassion for others. I found it enormously funny when I finally grew
enough hair to discover that I was going bald naturally anyway. Trich also
can indirectly provide a sense of community, by belonging to a group of
people made beautiful by their suffering.


WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?

My success is the result of a long struggle, but I believe that it doesn't
have to be like that. I have described my story in the hope that others
may find ideas or solace, but am unable to say to what
extent, if any, the comments will be useful to others.

Although I am without significant symptoms, Trich is still with me. But it
no longer significantly affects my life, my relationships, my job, or gives
me negative feelings about myself. Most people would be surprised to look
at me and be told I had a problem, although in times past it was pretty
obvious.

For healing in general, I paraphrase the research work of Grinder and
Bandler. We must have a goal for the healing process; a variety of
approaches toward the goal; and an ability to recognize when an approach
isn't working, and we need to try another.

In 1995 I went to a medical conference on anxiety disorders, where Trich
was the subject of several papers. It assisted me greatly to listen to
specialists and to hear what works or doesn't for others. It also helps to
be able to draw a technical paper to the attention of my local doctor.

I learnt that there was a strong overlap with depression, but a weak
overlap with OCD. We were also told that procrastination, a major problem
for me, was a symptom of Trich.

To forestall the onset of Trich in our children we used a mixture of
encouragement, hugs, logic, distraction, and lots and lots of love. The
love must be unceasing, so I had to learn to pace myself to what I could
maintain.

I found Trich to be apparently simple, but actually very complicated.
Researchers have suggested using a diary, and this seems an excellent idea;
although careful thought on the layout would make it more useful.

I found that there is,

GENETIC PREDISPOSITION - I felt that there was little that I could do about
this.

ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS - Instant coffee gives me tension headaches and
promotes pulling behaviour. I am also keeping a wary eye on several other
foods. There may well be associations with factors other than food.

TRIGGERING FACTORS - I am sure that in the presence of other conditions
there are some triggering factors, eg sitting at a particular desk to do
particular work.

STRESS FACTORS - These seemed to me to have the biggest influence on me.
This means that stress factors are "exacerbating" factors which turn Trich
from a minor problem into a major one. They were also the things that I
could do something about.

POSITIVE FEEDBACK EFFECTS - playing with hair in a particular spot leads to
compulsive playing, to pulling, to compulsive pulling, to intense pulling,
to "trance-like" pulling. This is stopped only by the and
despair of the damage being done. Secondary effects also promote Trich
behaviour.

SECONDAY EMOTIONAL EFFECTS - fear of discovery; trauma of extensive hair
damage; ridicule; fear of ridicule; loss of self esteem.

SECONDARY PHYSICAL EFFECTS - eg repetitive stress damage to tendons in the
forearm.

MANAGING STRESS:
I have concentrated on things which bring stress into my life and worked
hard on those. The important things for me are,

- relationships (learning to relate better to people close to me,
particularly those with whom I find it difficult or unpleasant to work)

- personal organization (so that I keep out of the way of trouble). This
is really important.

- setting personal goals. This really helps.

- seeking to love and understand others as much as I can. Particularly
avoiding judging others whose circumstances I don't understand.

- normal healthy eating

- regular sleep

- avoid taking on too many things, eg clubs & societies

- I have a dog which I love. He distracts and relaxes me. (except when he
is naughty)

- getting to understand myself and the things that are really important in
life.

- learning as much about Trich as possible, not rushing to conclusions, and
relying heavily on my own observations and experience.

- religion has been very strongly helpful for me

- realizing that there are people who love me and appreciate me (even
though they may have their own problems).

A special word about bullying at school. This can be very damaging, even
the memories for me as an adult still hurt. There are now good
anti-bullying programs available and I believe strongly in these.

It is important to believe that this can be conquered. To believe in
myself, and not stop believing. To visualize myself with a head of healthy
hair.

I have received lots of hugs and encouragement over the years, and this is
an attempt to return a few crumbs of that. I claim success for my goals
and wish the same for everyone.

Regards,
Geoff