Ariana's Story

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Hi, I am Ariana and have had trich for 5 years now. I began pulling when at the age of 15 when life became too much for me to deal with. The night I began pulling still remains crystal clear in my mind. I was laying down in bed trying to get to sleep but was to tense to sleep. My mind began wandering
and thinking about everything that had recently happened to me and subconciously, my hand reached up to my hair and just began fingering each strand on my crown. I remember coming across a kinky hair that just didn't feel like it belonged with the rest of my hair. So i pulled it out. To my suprise, I really liked the sensation and spent the rest of the night searching for more of those perfect, kinky hairs. When I got up the next morning to get ready for school, I discovered I had pulled so much that I now had a bald spot the size of a quarter. I was horrified by the damage that I had done, but I couldn't stop. Within a month I had pulled out an area as big as my head. I could no longer hide what I did. My high school would not
allow us to wear hats as it was a "gang related", so I had to endure a year of strange looks and names before my hair grew enough so I could cover the damage. However, I was lucky in that I never heard the mean remarks and actually did recieve support. One day in Biology my lab partner confronted me
and asked if i had trich. I was just like what are you talking about? So she explained to me what trichotillomania was and told me that she had it too. she also gave me names of others that went to our school that also had it. At this point though, i was too afraid to confront this disease and ignored her
information. It was not until April of this year that I was ready to seek out help and make and effort to stop pulling my hair. Though I had cut down on the pulling a lot after my sophomore year in high school, i had never even tried to stop. I didn't see the point as I could always cover my bald spot without too much difficulty. The want to have hair was always overshadowed my need to pull out my hair until this year. When i found this site and the fairlite board, I realized that it was possible to stop pulling and that even though it would always be a life battle there were people out there who had stopped. I decided that I wanted to be one of those people who could be an example for others by controlling my trich. Although I am by no means totally pull free now, I am close. I have many pull free days and the days that I do pull I
only pull around 5 or 10. My hair has grown a lot as well. I still have a bald spot, but the size has shrunk to the size of my palm rather than my whole hand. I still struggle every day with the urges, but I no longer let them take control of my life. The most important thing I have learned from this battle though is that trich does not define who I am. I have realized that I can still be a good person even if I do not have a full head of hair.  I also stopped worrying about stopping pulling for others. I am now doing it for myself. These realizations have done the most good for me. When I realized who I was, I was able to begin the journey of being pull free. I wish all of you luck and hope my story has been of some help.
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