God knows....

The other day, my hubby Louis and I was talking to a trichster girl and her fiancee abt trich and Louis was explaining to them how he experiences it, and what he found helpful to help me etc.

He told them that he could never understand how come I say that I cannot help it, that I don't want to pull, but yet I keep on pulling.  Then he read in the Bible where Paul was saying: That which I want to do, I don't do, and that which I don't want to do, I do.

Louis says that he then realized that there are some things that even Paul couldn't control - where he did things which he didn't want to do.  It meant a lot to me, hearing it from Louis' mouth - hearing that he truly understands..(I knew that, but it was good to hear it again).

That night I read in Matthew and God gave me this verse:   Matthew 26:41.  (it is where He was in Gethsemane) and Jesus asked his disciples to keep watch and pray for him, but they kept on falling asleep.

Jesus then said to them:  Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing but the body is weak.

You know, obviously we cannot use this verse to justify everything we do wrong, BUT that night God said to me that He understands.  He KNOWS that I don't want to pull, and He does tell me to pray against the temptation, but he also understands that my flesh (body) is weak, even though my spirit is willing, even though I really, really don't want to pull.

I thank God for His mercy and His love!