Two years later...

I was asked if I don't pull because of stress.  This was my reply, but I think it also tells of how my life with trich is now.... 2 years after I found the BB and found that I wasn't crazy or alone

Trich is complicated, that's for sure! Stress definitely makes things worse. But in
the last 2 years my life changed dramatically. I think I dealt with lot of the
feelings that caused stress in my life (feelings directly because of trich). I also
became more aware of my trich triggers and bad situations like reading, TV, driving
etc. Also, a big influence in my pulling, was my itching head. Look, I pulled while
being in total denial about it. I pulled, but ignored all thoughts about it. I
believe I pulled when my head itched, to try and get rid of the itch. (I remember
shaking my hair vigorously, just in case it was fleas that made my head itch like
that.) When I made the trich discovery, I started being aware of my pulling, and
realized that pulling from my head, won't take the itch away anyway. Also, in time,
the habit of pulling was broken. Trich isn't a habit, it starts as an urge, but after
21 years of doing the exact same thing every time you're in a certain situation, there
is definitely a habitual pattern established. So later the habit part of it was broken
too. My most difficult time is often while driving. So I still have a blot of silly
putty stuck to my steering wheel and I still play with it every day when I drive. That
part of the 'habit' was difficult to break. I think the same thing happened with
stress. I am now very aware of my hands, so when I'm stressed, I think my brain knows
by now that pulling won't help with the itch. I think I can say that in the last year
or so I haven't had urges because of stress at all. I have had times where I was angry
at the world, and thought.... I might just as well pull! And seriously consider it....
until I realize that I won't be hurting anyone else but myself.

But seriously, in the last year or so, I've had times of incredible stress. 2 Weeks ago
I went through a really tough time. Everything just got too much - it really felt like
I was heading for a nervous breakdown. Yet, the thought to pull never even entered my
head. Never!

Trich is so complicated - I think that if we can start thinking about it, identifying
trigger situations and times etc.... we have already come a far way. But even in
saying that .... without the JK diet I wouldn't have been where I am today. Without any
doubt. Without the diet, the urges are there all the time (considering the amount of
sugar I consumed, it is no wonder). And without the diet, it is basically impossible
(for me) to resist the urges.

I have to work at staying away from a difficult time/place at the moment. I have waxed
my legs, and I know it is a risk. I want to pull and scratch those ingrown hair - I
love it. So now Saturday mornings is a difficult time for me. I have time to take a
long bath, then my skin is soft, and unfortunately that is bad for a trichster with
waxed legs! If I get hold of tweezers and needle then..... oh dear. Problem is that
my hubby works on Saturday mornings, so that leaves me all alone..... and in danger!
I'm still trying to figure out a solution for that one.

Also, being a pubic puller, going to the loo is also a difficult time. (can't skip
that place, unfortunately!) But Louis is a great help. It took him a while, but now he
calls me when I'm in there for too long. I asked him to, and although he didn't want to
in the beginning, he helps me now by calling me - and it really helps me.

Yesterday morning he was in the bath, and suddenly he called: Amanda, what are you
doing? All I said was: thank you! And he knew! I was busy with the tweezers (on my
legs) and couldn't stop myself (you know how it is) - so when he called, it broke the
'trance' and I could get out of it.

Hope this helps you to understand how it is for me now.